People say it all the time. “Life isn’t fair.” They don’t prepare you for the hard stuff though. When I started this blog I wanted to create a safe space for parents to feel heard. Sometimes life can feel isolating and like no one really understands what you’re going through. There isn’t a manual on how to parent. Sure, there’s parenting books on what other people think you should do, but even those can feel like you’re being preached to. I’m here to talk about the hard stuff so that if someone is reading this and happens to relate they don’t feel so alone. Like, how do you handle a separation?
Society makes us feel like we have to have a family to be happy, and by family, I mean a full unit. Mom, Dad and the kids. I have been told this my entire life. Truth is, sometimes things just don’t work out. That doesn’t make you a bad parent. It doesn’t make you unlovable and it definitely doesn’t mean you’re failing.
The amount of guilt I have felt over the years because I haven’t been able to find a solid partner has weighed on me. I have blamed myself. I’ve blamed my past trauma. I have felt like I haven’t been able to give my son the one thing he “needs.” A family. Then I realized something. I AM his family. It may be small, but I’m here. When it comes down to it, as long as you are there that’s all that matters in the end.
So how do you handle breakups when you have kids? You can cry. You can feel hurt. Those are normal human emotions. We aren’t robots who feel no pain. Most importantly, show up for your kids every single day and be the consistent thing in their life. They need you, and you are a lot stronger than you think you are.