I hate to break it to you, but no matter how many parenting blogs or books you read you will still never be the perfect parent. We are all just trying the best we can with the tools we have. There are some things I try to avoid saying to my kid in order to keep his self esteem high though.
"That's for girls/boys"
I hate when people say this. I remember when I was at the store and Trent really wanted this Moana doll because he LOVED the movie Moana. I grabbed it and as we were waiting in line a woman behind us said, "dolls are for girls." I watched the huge smile he had on his face immediately turn into a frown. Quit forcing your gender normative behavior on kids. They don't understand the difference between girl toys or boy toys. They just see a toy. Gender stereotypes can cause low self-esteem and poor mental health. Let your kids be kids. I always say if my son wants to play with a doll it will enforce positive behavior and prevent toxic masculinity as an adult.
"Suck it up"
Telling your children to "suck it up" or "stop crying" can cause them to stop being in touch with their feelings. Human emotion is normal. It's normal for your children to get upset. It's best to teach them to handle their emotions in a healthy way.
"Just let me do it"
I know it's easy to get frustrated when your child can't tie their shoes when you're in a hurry. Trust me I just recently went through this. Try saying "let's do it together" instead.
"Because I said so"
Super cliche, but you should avoid it. It takes complete control from your kids. You don't always have to explain why but try to give a little more context so they understand. Kids aren't stupid. Give them a little more credit. They are capable of being understanding human beings.
"I'm on a diet"
Talking about being on a diet or about how you don't like your physical appearance can affect your children as well. We want our kids to grow up to love themselves, and we need to start with ourselves. If you are watching your weight keep it to yourself, and replace it with positive affirmations instead.
Let's all raise happy, confident children. They'' change the world someday.